Tomorrow I'm going to try to wake up naturally. No alarm clock or phone/iPod going off with notifications. I just want to have a proper night's rest with the hours my body needs. If I wake up early, I'm going to resist all urges to go back to sleep haha. I feel like lately the weather's been messing me up and I could literally sleep all day.

I'm secretely hoping my internal clock wakes me up at 6am and I feel productive and energetic all day and I'm exactly like those happy-go-lucky girls in commercials haha

motivation.

I've said this every single Sunday night of January, but I'm determined to make this one stick.

Tomorrow is when I'll be stricter on my diet and exercise regimen. Today I ate a whole bunch of junk food so I need to start eating healthier. Not only that, but my Wii Fit has just been sitting there like useless piece of electronics, so my $112 is basically going to waste.

I need to get back on track.

the big picture.

I can be really selfish most of the time. My paycheques go straight to things I want and don't need, rather than bills or helping out my mom. And especially today, as I got my clothes that I probably paid too much for, I realize how shitty of a person I am. I literally spend money like it's no big deal, when people who are directly connected to me have almost nothing.

I think this year I'm going to start working on becoming a better person.

scatterbrains.

Lately I've found myself in an all-too-familiar place. A rut. Financially, creatively.....pretty much any word that can end in "-ly". I'm not too sure why. I had everything going for me a month ago. Perhaps it's boredom? A longing to start something new in my life?

Either way, all I've wanted to do lately is sleep away the days until Christmas. That's the kind of person I am, I guess. Instead of facing my problems head on I decide to hibernate until they somehow solve themselves.

It's kind of funny because I have all these crazy ideas swirling in my head, and all of these things I want to try. But every time I decide that I'll do it, I hold myself back and say, "I'll do it tomorrow." or "I'll start next month/year".

Plus the fact that there's that voice in the back of head that screams, "You'll never finish that once you start!!" and "What's the point of trying it, you'll screw it up somehow!!!!" whenever I get excited about starting something. I need to learn how to silence that annoying little girl.

the (Red) Velvet Rope

In my quest for domestication, I've been loading up on recipes that I find online; baking recipes or cooking recipes, it doesn't matter. These are recipes that I've been saving for months now, so you can imagine how backed up my bookmark folder is haha.

The first recipe I tried was for Red Velvet Cupcakes. Red Velvet is my absolute favourite type of cake/cupcakes, so I was really anxious to try it out. I've tried making red velvet before, but I didn't use buttermilk...and it wasn't pretty. So this time, with the correct ingredients, I set out on making my first ever batch of cupcakes from scratch.

I don't really know if I can classify my baking skills as actual "skills", seeing as I can only make cupcakes when they come in that red Betty Crocker box. The only thing I've made from scratch is chocolate chip cookies, and even then I mess up sometimes. So of course making these cupcakes from scratch was a bit nerve wracking. Every time I added an ingredient I would look at Marlon with hesitation. I even went as far as buying a few cake mixes just in case these didn't turn out. After all, I had promised my younger cousin a night of cupcake decorating and devouring and I wasn't about to fall back on my promise!!!

The cupcakes turned out nicely; not too sweet but not bland, either. We used cream cheese frosting to finish them off, which was a nice compliment to the subtle cocoa flavour. I'd say it was a success for my first ever cupcakes baked from scratch!!!

Next up on the list? Mango Cupcakes

"I'm not superstitious, I'm just a little stitious"

Today was such an odd day. First there was that completely random earthquake, followed by a barrage of peculiar customers at work.

Actually...the rest of the day was pretty normal haha. My boyfriend spent the day with me because my parents are out of town and I didn't want to be home alone. We made dinner, he rescued me from moths, the usual.

But what happened next was a little weird. We were sitting on the stairs waiting for his dad to come pick him up. I was already upset that he wasn't spending the night. For some reason I really didn't want to be alone, so I was sulking. Suddenly I noticed the reflection of his shoes in the screen door window was a little distorted. And then I saw those shining eyes. A black cat had made its way up the steps and was watching me from the top step in front of my door. Now, usually when I'm faced with a strange animal I get scared or jump in surprise, but for some reason I felt at peace when I saw this cat. I was more excited than scared. Unfortunately when I got up I was a little more excited than I should have been, because I scared him off. It was weird though because when Marlon came up and shooed the cat away, it suddenly turned around and stared back at us as if it was making sure everything was alright.

After that happened I was kind of obsessing over it. I googled it (of course) and although black cats are synonymous with bad luck, they can also be signs of good luck. I also learned that cats are signs of protection (though some believe that black cats are familiars with witches and demons). I like to think that this cat was protecting me because it knew I would be home alone. So now, even though Marlon felt like it was a bad omen, we have decided to "adopt" this cat. For all I know I was reading too much into it and he was just hungry and noticed the open doorway at 11pm. Cats get lonely sometimes too. Anyway, we've decided to name him Ninja. I hope I see him again tomorrow.

Tonight I'm going to go to sleep feeling protected, rather than afraid.

Lately I've been reading this cooking blog called Cheeky Kitchen. I absolutely love the way it's written, and it kind of makes me wish I had the eloquence of a "professional blogger". I used to be able to write really long paragraphs, full of adjectives and excitement. Now, it's more like simple sentence fragments. I'm pretty sure twitter killed my blogging ability.

I've also been really inspired to learn how to cook. Baking, I can do. Cooking is a different story. I can't cook to save my life. The most I know is throwing everything in a big pot and making sinigang, a sort of Filipino stew. I'd like to be the kind of mom who can whip up a steak dinner or a Quiche Lorraine if my children and husband desire it. I suppose one of the problems is expensive groceries (my future as an Extreme Coupon-er will help me with this). Plus the quality of ingredients in my area. Unfortunately I don't live close to any farmer's markets, nor do I have the vehicle (or license to drive said vehicle) that will get me to any farmer's markets in any surrounding areas. Another problem is my inability to read instructions. I learn by doing. Or by having someone bark orders at me. But reading recipes....sometimes I skim out of boredom and leave out a crucial part. I don't know. All I know is that I'm making it my personal project to learn how to cook those lovely dishes from those lovely cooking blogs. Dessert included. I don't think I can resist baking.

Anyway, my boyfriend is telling me to go to bed. We don't even live together yet and he's already such a bossypants haha.

Baby, baby, baby, ooohhh!

Well the past few days have been quite exciting, if I do say so myself! On April 17th, my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Jamie Melia. We all had a feeling she was coming because of the zany weather (my sister got engaged on a rainy day, and it rained on the day of her wedding as well). It was only right that little Jamie made her debut on the day of the April rain/snow/hailstorm!!

Vee had an amazing delivery, she did it

completely natural, no epidural!! Such a strong woman! It was actually really quick, she said she felt contractions at 6am and by 4:17pm Jamie was here! 4:17 on 4/17.....that's how we know our little girl is someone special :)